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Hello, Newbie here...worried and anxious. Options
rebec
Posted: Saturday, July 03, 2010 8:25:36 AM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 7/3/2010
Posts: 1
Points: 3
Location: Sydney Australia
Hi, My names Rebecca and I have 2 wonderful children. Nilo my 4.5yr old daughter and Sunny my 2.6yr old son.

My daughter Nilo has pronounciation problems, seems like her tounge is too big for her mouth at times. But her fathes side also has a lisp. (but having a lisp only in english not in Persian- which I have found is not uncommon for alot of other Persians aswell.)She was a late speaker but understood everything and followed instructions in all 3 languages which are spoken at our home. Since having our son we have gone to using only english though in hopes to help his speech.

Sunny is worrying me though, he has no proper words asyet. He will say boba (dad) dada mama yeh eheh etc but not actually meaning them. Like he will not call his father boba.. He will not call me mama. He will however make eheh sounds for a picture of a monkey, ssssss for a snake, grrr for an angry face, giggle for a happy face and act shocked for a sad face. We see a pediatrician on monday so hopefully we will get the ball rolling and get ontop of things.
He has only ever had 1 or 2 ear infections, but he is sensitive about anyone touching his ears. Will laugh most of the time but sometimes its a angry squeal. I don't try to clean or go in the ear canal at all I just wipe the outside with the towel after a shower. He has alot of wax coming out of one ear and a fair amount from the other. Have had the doctor look at it but he says he doesn't see an issue - But that doesn't mean there isn't anything effecting him behind the eardrum does it?
He does bable often but I can see when he tries to speak its as if he is but leaving his mouth closed. He gets incredibly frustrated when I try to make him speak. Tantrums on the floor type frustrated.
If he wants a drink he will go get the juice and bring me a cup and hand them to me. I put them down ask him if he wants a drink? Yeah? and get him to point to it. Then I ask him Yes? He just gets angry and cries.I have tried to be tough and not give in till he makes an attempt but he just won't. He will just avoid eye contact and cry and cry. I've been so upset by it a few times that I have gone to my room and cried, he will seek me out and come sit by me. Which is sweet. But Im worried sick by it all.



If you read through this, thank you.
I don't have anyone in real life to speak with about it so Im sorry for ranting on.
Mary LouSLP
Posted: Monday, July 05, 2010 11:27:16 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/22/2008
Posts: 737
Points: 1,947
Location: Colorado
Hello Rebecca,

Welcome to you as a new member! With the lovely summer days and evenings, plus a major holiday, in the US, I am sorry to see that you have not had replies yet to your heartfelt post. I plan to comment within a day or two. Please do check back. You will get support here.

Mary Lou

Mary Lou B. Johnson, M.S.,CCC-SLP
http://www.helpyourchildspeak.com
mom2payton
Posted: Wednesday, July 07, 2010 2:36:48 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/23/2004
Posts: 216
Points: 510
Location: Wisconsin
Rebecca - I hope that MaryLou will have a chance to respond to you later as I think her expertise would be most helpful to you. What kind of information did you get from your doctor visit? Anything useful? If you continue to have concerns about your son's ears, I would ask a specialist (ear nose and throat) to take a look. It certainly can't hurt and would help to make you feel better.

I see some wonderful things that your son does...his attempts to communicate with you are just great. I guess I would encourage you not to force a child to communicate with words. He is obviously trying to tell you something with actions....marvelous! My son was not doing that at all at this age. If he brings you the cups and juice (great) - can You say "Juice? Sunny wants some juice? Yes, here is your juice. Juice for Sunny. Juice." And give him the juice. If you think about it, if I wanted some juice and brought it to you but you said to me, first you have to go run a mile and then I will get you the juice, I would have a screaming fit too. ;-) Speaking is like that for your son. You want to encourage him to make the attempts to speak but right now that sounds as if that is the most difficult thing in the world for him. Have you tried sign language? It might be something that he would pick up quickly and would help him communicate with you.....or using picture cards to indicate his needs.

I hope you can get some more concrete help from a speech therapist - Mary Lou has some great ideas on this site in other posts. My son did not have the same problems as your son but also did not have any proper words at this age either. He is 8 now and talks nonstop. It is very difficult to be where you are right now. I remember feeling very lonely. It will take time and work but you will be amazed years later at how far your son has come. Hang in there.
Mary LouSLP
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 10:59:34 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/22/2008
Posts: 737
Points: 1,947
Location: Colorado
Hi Rebecca,

I am finally getting back on the forum after taking some time off for our son's wedding. Children do grow up!

Thanks to mom2payton for her support for my ideas expressed on this forum. I agree with her that you may want an ENT doctor to examine your son's ears if you think they bother him or have excessive wax buildup that needs to be removed. Has your son had a hearing test completed by a clinical audiologist?

I agree it is good that your son tries to communicate with you by showing you what he wants. You are wise to add words to the interaction. I am going to make some suggestions to modify the way you talk with him at those times that he wants something. Almost always children get annoyed or frustrated when they are asked questions. And it is so common for parents to ask questions! So--there is a mismatch.

I strongly recommend that you offer language but that you offer it in a natural, non-questioning manner. Slow down the interaction. It is not withholding but just buying some time to get in a lot of language. There is a fine line between the two (withholding vs stretching out the interaction). Keep it fun and positive-sounding, and pause often to give him a chance to imitate you if he wants to. Don't press him to do or say anything.

Here's what I would say in the situation you described [your child hands you juice and a cup.]

[acknowledge his communicative intent in a straightforward statement]: "You want juice!"
"OK--I'll pour you some apple juice. " [sentence statement that tells him you will meet his request.]
"Apple juice." [two-word combination]
"Juice." [single word]
"Jooooooce" [stretch the vowel to make the word last longer]
"oooo" [get down to this single sound if he hasn't copied your single word. Say this while pouring the juice.]

Notice--no questions! Just comments. You can hold the container and the cup up a bit so he can see the juice and see your face. Keep smiling and talk in a happy, encouraging way. Do something as you talk (remove the bottle cap, twist the top of the pitcher, start to tip the container to pour slowly, etc., to show you are actually going to give him juice.

Please try this several times and let us know how it works for you. But please please please be on the alert for whether you are asking any questions, even through rising intonation. Parents often have a hard time detecting this for themselves. Ask someone to listen to see if you are really "putting your voice down" as though there is a period at the end of each comment.

Mary Lou B. Johnson, M.S.,CCC-SLP
http://www.helpyourchildspeak.com
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